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How to Make Authentic Connections in DM’s That Actually Lead to Visibility and Business Growth

Mar 31, 2022

Have you ever gotten a private message on social media that left you cringing?  Somebody you don’t even know trying to sell you a product or convince you that you should partake in their service?  It happens a lot and it’s probably one of the worst marketing tactics ever.  Why?  Well, think about what you do upon receipt of that message.  You likely ignore it, delete it before you’ve even read it to completion, or write back an unsavory response because you’re just so sick of getting inundated with spam.  Unfortunately, despite this reality, a lot of people haven’t gotten the memo and continue this lackluster marketing practice.  You get to be the exception to that truth.  Let’s learn how to leverage private messaging across any social media channel in a way that will actually help you to build your business. 


Before we dive headfirst in the actual action steps necessary to make this a successful endeavor, there are three very simple (but crucial) things to remember when you are trying to market through messaging. 

  1.  Set your expectation correctly: Using social media messaging is a slow-growth strategy.  It cannot be rushed because, let’s face it, it takes time to build trust and authentic relationships.  If you head into this expecting immediate results, you will be disappointed.  That’s not to say that you can’t have a few lucky moments where the connection happens instantly, but if you look at the bigger picture, expect it to take a while. 
  2.  Lead with heart and humanity: You are not a robot and, hopefully, neither is the person on the receiving end of your message.  Cold-selling your service or product has zero heart behind it and completely negates the importance of human connection.  We build relationships through asking questions, recognizing our shared interests and struggles, and actively listening to what the other person is telling us. 
  3.  Stay curious: Remember that, at the heart of your business, is an opportunity to fulfill a need and deliver a solution.  Coming straight out of the gate trying to get your new acquaintance on board with your product or service feels inauthentic and sales-y.  How do you even know if they need what you’re selling?  Following guideline number two will help you to show up here, too.  When you ask questions and listen, you will be able to recognize how your product or service might be able to benefit your prospect, even if it’s in a different way than you initially thought.  For example, maybe they won’t directly benefit from what you’re selling, but you recognize that they could make a phenomenal collaboration partner on a project you’ve been working on or that they have a shared audience and you could both mutually benefit from referring to one another.  


When you go into a conversation with a new prospect with these guidelines in your mind, you’re far less likely to make the mistakes that get so many private messages deleted, ignored, or negatively responded to.  Now, it’s time for your actual action steps.

When you receive a friend request, a comment on your post, or a like, these are all invitations to learn more.  The very first thing you need to do is head over to your new prospect’s profile and learn as much as you can about them.  Doing this will allow you to go in to the conversation with a basic understanding of who you are talking to.  It also helps you to determine whether or not you’re chatting with a real person (why waste your time?).  As a side note, this is why it’s very important for you to always have your profiles fully optimized.  You don’t want anybody thinking you’re a spammer either right?


Your next step is to message them with a quick, “Hello, how’s it going?” type of message that’s chatty and conversational, not sales-y.  You wouldn’t, for example, ask somebody to marry you on the first date, right?  The same should be true in sales.  You’ve got to build the relationship first by allowing the conversation to unfold naturally.  Find out what you have in common (you’ll likely find that it’s a lot more than you expected) and build off of those things.


At some stage, it is appropriate to turn the conversation more to business, but start with asking them what they do as opposed to launching into your sales pitch.  Ask they how their business is going and how it benefits their overall life, et cetera.  Again, the questions will help you to get to the nitty gritty of where you can potentially be of benefit to this person or where they could be of benefit to you (or, preferably, both).  When you’ve determined how you can best support one another, the conversation can graduate into your offerings or maybe talks on collaborations or mutual benefits of building the relationship. 

So, I know this seems a little simplified, and there’s a good reason for that.   If you want to learn more and dive a bit deeper, you can do so by signing up for my Master Class on April 6 at 11 AM CST.  This live event will take place in my Facebook group, “Be a Confident Entrepreneur, Gain Confidence and Grow Your Business”, so you’ll need to join the group if you’d like to be a part of this awesome event.  If you don’t feel quite ready for the master class, there are plenty of other ways that I can support you, as well, as you work to grow your business.  Head over to my website to learn more about all of my upcoming offerings. 

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